Can I really leave my heart in San Francisco?

Yesterday James went to the library to prepare for an upcoming midterm. I felt bored at home and wanted to take Chubby to Union Square to do some shopping.

Last time when I went there with Chubby alone, Chubby was not even two months old and I was still on my disability (from pregnancy and child birth) leave. I buckled him in the infant car seat and locked the car seat in the matching stroller. When I got downhill to the campus, I took the disability ramp and waited for N-Judah there. When the muni car approached, the bus driver was complaining "This is not meant for you. This is for disable people to use. You should take off the infant car seat and fold the stroller and get on the bus as other passengers". But "nicely" he did a "favor" to me and I got on the bus using the disability ramp. I tried to explain that I just delivered a baby and I was not able to hold a more than 10 lb baby in a 10 lb car seat, while the other hand holding a 15 lb stroller. Which hand can I use to pay the fare? During the whole trip, the bus driver stopped at every single disability ramp and asked me to read the sign and told me this would be the last time he stopped the muni for me on the disability ramp. I got angry and argued back because I didn't think I did anything wrong. Hello, is he a father? Does he feel the pain of his wife while traveling alone with an infant baby?

So this time I decided to drive to the Forrest Hill station and park around there and then take the train there. After all, there is elevator and I don't need to use a disability ramp any more. As soon as I got on the muni, the bus driver opened his window and talked to me. But I didn't understand his English. It took me a while to understand that he asked me to un-buckle my baby from the infant car seat and hold him during the trip. What? Are you insane? Do you know the trip on muni was never smooth and the jerkiness could get my baby fly out of my arms? Another passenger told me that it was state law for babies' safety concern that I had to hold my baby on the bus. I didn't understand. Are they parents? Have they held an infant baby? Do they know an infant car seat locked into a stroller is the safest harbor for a baby traveling on the train? Other Moms on the muni with toddlers told me not to worry about the stupid rule. I couldn't believe this was indeed the state law. So when I came home, James and I found Muni was notorious about their hostility to Moms and babies. They require Moms fold the stroller and hold their babies in their laps to make space for other passengers. They claimed this was also for the safety concern of other riders.

I guess the only way I can take the muni with my baby is to use a baby carrier. There are more and more things we just don't like about the city. No wonder there are more dogs than babies in the city. Living cost is one thing. But the city didn't really try hard to accommodate a growing family. Can we really call this place our permanent home?

I survived the first week!

Geez, it has been more than two months since I post here. No, no, no, it's not because that Chubby is a fussy baby so that I have to dedicate all my time to his service. Instead, he is a super good baby with nice temper. It is just because I am a lazy person, period. Before I move to the next paragraph, let me give you a few examples how good and considerate my little boy was to me. I was able to dine out with James, our friends, and our family. He was quiet the whole time and patiently waited for me to finish before asking for some feeding. James and I have been back to gym together to play ping-pong and he sat in the stroller, dozing off. He is able to sleep through the night and James and I can spend time together alone again at night.

The last week was hectic for me. I went back to work on Monday and Chubby started to go to a family day care in Sunset. Every morning, he gets up around 7am. After feeding on one side, I change his diaper, put him back in the crib, turn on the mobile, get me ready for work, see if there is any simple breakfast to make (or just take a banana with me). Then I will hold him up and offer the other side to feed. If he eats well, lucky me, that means I don't need to pump immediately when I get to work. Then I will get the bottles fill with my expressed milk from the previous day, take out the ice packs, prepare two ice bags, one for Chubby's daytime feedings, and the other for storing my expressed milk at work. Now I have to do two trips to load everything in the car. The first trip involves my computer bag, the pump bag, and Chubby's meal bag. The second trip I take him down in the infant car seat. Phew, then I will fight with city commuters to drive towards the opposite direction to my work and drop him off first. It was extremely hard for me on the first day. I stayed for about an hour in Mrs. Yau's place and held Chubby in my arm. I didn't leave until he fell asleep and I gently put him in the Graco playpen. For the past three months, Chubby and I have been together 24/7. I felt I got separation anxiety. I started to worry the whole day, wondering if he ate well and slept well. Did he cry when he woke up and found Mama was not around. Would he refuse the bottle feeding? Would Mrs. Yau change his diaper on time and burp him during and after each feeding? I guess every new Mom will have such uneasy transition. But by the end of the week, I felt much better and now I am enjoying this long weekend with my son once again. :0)

On the other note of our life, James can always find a new way to amuse our son and make him laugh loud. He is sure busy, as usual, if not busier. He just scheduled his USMLE Step 1 exam and told me he would study non-stop starting in early March. :-( Chubby has developed quite a lot recently. He is able to lift his head about 90 degree and holds for long time. With our assistance, he could roll over from front to back occasionally. But he eats less than other babies at his age and still poops a lot. The consequence is that he hasn't gained much weight for the past few weeks.